Written by Joe Leff

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Wednesday, 19 February 2014

The asking price of pet owners selling small rodents has risen by the biggest amount for seven years.

The average price of a mouse has increased to £7-50p, across England and Wales, according to the rodent website RightMouse. This is 50 per cent higher than £5, which until recently was the usual trading price for a decent, average-sized mouse.

Prices in London have risen by 75 per cent - reflecting the higher proportion of posh mice, especially in and around Rodent's Square. The Mouses of Parliament also command higher prices.

The Government's flagship 'Help to Buy a Mouse' scheme has boosted demand in the market, together with the recent ban on sales of mouse traps.

Agents in the mouse-buying business are advising customers not to stretch themselves too far when burrowing.

Many more mice have been seen climbing the property ladder, and often turning up in unexpected places.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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