Written by Tracy McLeod
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Saturday, 4 November 2006

image for Explosive Macca Video - He Tried to Eat My Other Leg
Paul in happier times launching ebay celebrity autograph store

London - A close friend of one time gentlemen's companion, Heather Mills, has confirmed the uni-propped siren has given her lawyers secret boudoir video footage that includes a crazed and drunken Macca apparently trying to gnaw on her remaining leg.

Ardent vegetarian Paul is said to be livid that Heather has been filming his carnivorous relapses and knows this does not bode well for the memory of Linda.

But Heather is unyielding and wants to set the record straight about the 'Real Macca' and the Geordie lass is quoted as saying, "He wez a terrible husband. He wez ne vegetarian an ah offan felt he looked at me leik ah wez a pork chop.It wez frightening."

Heather's confidant has confirmed the footage will be destroyed when Paul agrees to give the misshapenly jawed blonde a 'sensible' 80 to 85% of his fortune. "It wez a lang 4 years, ye know what I mean like?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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