Responding to complaints of a rather stiff smell exiting local drains and household bogs, Scottish sewer engineers have been scouring the area attempting of find a dead rat or two left over stodgy Big Macs that might be causing the stench.
Throughout the year sewer workers have discovered many bizarre reasons for blockages; false teeth, mobile phones, used and unused condoms accompanied by discarded floppy dildos which failed to respond stiffly enough, etc.
However, the cause of this particular blockage was a surprise to even the hardest sewer engineer; a huge Pooh was causing the problem, not poo as in poo, but the bear kind, very smelly. After rescuing the Pooh police are now desperately searching for the owner because they fear it was accidently flushed down a local bog and a poor child might just go searching for their Pooh, and losing children down drainholes is the last thing local police want because Stephen King already did that.
In a last-ditch attempt to find the owner, police have set up a Facebook site hoping that the young owner will come forward and claim the Pooh, however, Facebook forgot to tell them that all people under the age of 49 have abandoned their jurassic site!
More crap as we flush it...