The UK has and is still being battered by storms, floods and 100MPH winds, but there is a saviour in sight. PM David Cameron has been sighted on a non-existent 'dyke' wearing his designer wellies promising to plug it and she loved every second!
He was also seen on a non-existent real dyke promising the desperate victims of the horrendous weather that he would save them single-handed by putting his finger in it, the other 'dyke' swooned at the thought.
Meanwhile Ed Miliban, who played the main role in ET, and is now Labour leader, accused of Cameron of lying because it is he who is the saviour of the UK and he will make sure all types of 'dykes' are given priority during these terrible times, but declined the offer of wearing a pair of pink wellies because it's 'poofy'!
News films of both leaders standing with their wellies in solidarity on top of a dyke were transmitted round the world promising every inch of their support, were gladly received by lesbian groups who supported the pair by issuing the following statement:
"Where there's a will there's a way, but not with us you macho hypocrites!"
More as it blows in from the Atlantic Ocean...