Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 11 February 2014

image for Pod of killer sharks seen in flood-hit Datchet High Street
Outside Dreggs The Bakers at Datchet High Street tonight

Berkshire, UK - Residents of the picturesque Thames village of Datchet fled for their lives tonight as rising flood waters brought a new menace to the neighborhood in the form of a pod of killer sharks.

Local herbalist Alfred Bong-Edwards, 69, takes up the story from his third floor bedroom window where the filthy waters of the swollen River Thames have begun lapping at his vintage pipe collection:

"Frickin scary it was, I tell you," the sexagenarian said.

"There I was, just skinning up my breakfast spliff, looking out of the window at what was the High Street that's under ten foot of water right now when whoa! What the frickin fuck's that?"

Apparently a set of three large black shark fins swam menacingly past his house before turning down the flooded thoroughfare and stopping briefly outside what was the local Dreggs the Bakers

"I mean, that's not something you flicking see normally on this bit of the Thames Valley floodplain, is it?" Bong-Edwards gasped.

Tonight the local Neighborhood Watch patrol declared the area a Red Alert Danger Zone after two of the alleged sharks took up a rearguard position outside the town's mortuary.

An ounce of Bucklebury Bong Weed retails at around $1,000.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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