Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 1 November 2006

image for Thatcher: My plot to murder Ken
Putting the knife in: Thatcher in her glory hey-days.

London - (Associated Mess): In a rare post-psychotic period of lucidity, former UK Prime Monster Margaret Thatcher has admitted that she once plotted to murder GLC Leader Ken Livingstone unless he allowed her free access to gerrymander at leisure within the Greater London catchment area in the Dame Shirley Porter homes-for-votes scam.

However, the assassination plan had to be called off a few days before the dirty deed's due date 'because the PM had been penetrated by an informer'.

And although the plot files remain classified in MI5 archives, Metropolitan Police officers investigating the great unsolved crimes of the Cold War era have traced a link to the June 1982 disappearance of Derby-winning hot-shot Shergar....and a Warhol-scripted remake attempt of the 1934 movie classic 'The Rise of Catherine the Great'.

Some opening sequences of the remake are believed to have been shot on location at Chequers, with Mrs Thatcher in the starring role as the Great Russian Empress.

But the equine hero of the movie - played by Shergar - proved a bit too much of a talking horse.

And his unfortunate tendency to spill the beans about his leading lady's political rivals may have resulted in a demise reminiscent of that famous equine fate seen in the opening scenes of 'The Godfather'.

There has been no official comment from the Mayor of London today about Mrs Thatcher's reminiscences today.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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