Written by j.w.
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Topics: Benefits

Friday, 24 January 2014

image for Benefits Street, Surrey 'A Disgrace' Says Tory MP
Early Day Motion in the Parliamentary Chamber

A statement for Tory MP Ian Duncan Rant has been issued condemning the 'indescribable bully' and 'spoof writer' JW for the 'cruel depiction of the fine residents of Surrey's Benefits Street as low life scroungers.'

An early Day Motion by Rant, in a Parliamentary chamber, has been signed by 45 Tory MPs who are insisting that the 'offensive spoof be taken off the net before it goes viral'.

A person close to JW has advised us that he is 'overjoyed at the Rant initiative.' He understands that several families in Benefits Street, Surrey have expressed their disgust about some people on their street who are sponging off the country.

The BBC have refused to broadcast the contents of the allegations made on a spoof news website by JW stating that 'several of our top executives have retired recently to Benefits Street in Surrey where they are rubbing shoulders with the greatest Bankers who are enjoying their latest bonuses.'

Nigel Farrago, UKIP mastermind on a visit to Benefits Street, Surrey declared that his Party's policies were to make sure no immigrants ever ventured into the Street. 'We cannot have our Golf Clubs with foreign people as members, although they can, of course, clean our shoes. They can come here to work but not to avoid tax by having their accounts in the Cayman Islands.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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