Written by IainB
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Topics: Gay, God, Flooding, UKIP

Sunday, 19 January 2014

image for Gay Marriage bill caused British floods
God is not drowning gay men, but he has drowned Silvester's house

David Silvester, became the second UKIP councillor to be suspended after saying something daft when he announced to the world that David Cameron's Gay Marriage Bill angered God so much that he flooded the south of England.

In a rare interview, God himself came forward to deny any involvement.

"It was nowt to do with me," said God, who turned out to be from Yorkshire. "Sounds like a daft idea, flooding the South. Why would I do that? For me this gay marriage thing is just good business. Especially if they get married in church. More money in the coffers, int it? This flooding things all yer own fault, what with all this global warming. That's not me, you see. It's you. Although, some of you might blame me, it's not me."

Pope Benedict had his fingers in his ears while singing the JayZee song "Lalalalalala." during God's speech, as it disagreed with everything he'd ever preached.

Silvester, the UKIP councillor that had come up with the crazy idea, stood by what he'd said, despite evidence to the contrary from the very deity he'd blamed.

"The bible clearly says that man shall not marry man," said Silvester. "I can't remember quite where in the bible it says that, but it must say it somewhere in there. It's the sort of thing the bible would say. One day, I'll have to read it and find out."

As well as being denied by God, Silvester has even more embarrassment by also being denied by his own party, who want to try and distance themselves from UKIP councillors that say stupid things. Nigel Farage, who supposedly leads UKIP, is rapidly running out of UKIP councillors.

"No comment," he said when asked what he thought of those attracted to become UKIP councillors. He repeated that when asked for any kind of quote about flooding or gay marriage.

God decided that he would flood Silvester's house, and has filled it with water, which will surprise Silvester when he gets home and opens the door.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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