Written by Herrdoktorfox
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Topics: Comedy

Saturday, 18 January 2014

image for ..........."laddies and gentlesmen it gives me great pleasure, and why not?"
"The guy is a natural I tell ya,I've already booked to see him at Shepherds Bush Empire!"!"

Apparently a number of so-called British comedians including, Michael McIntyre, Sarah Millican, Alan Carr and Lenny Henry, to name but a few are up in arms with part-time Prime Minister Dave 'wait-for-it' Cameron for beating them at their own game.

Seemingly, Dave, who was attending a Commons Dinner, started quipping a few risky jokes about his old university pals after having had a few too many Krug Brut Vintage 1988 bevvies. Once he got started it appears that there was no stopping him much to the delight of Boris Johnson who was ably 'working him from behind' on the pretence of keeping him upright.

Gag number one was a light-hearted little number aimed squarely at Boris himself and as follows, "I just seen the picture of the boy who got Boris Johnson tattooed on his leg. I think it would have saved a lot of time if he'd tattooed two eyes to his fucking arse cheeks!"
The party faithful were beside themselves and noting the response Dave launched into his next cracker, "I recently hired a clown for my daughter's birthday party. Fuck me, that Boris Johnson don't come cheap, does he?"

Getting into his stride after swigging another couple of pints of Krugs and feeling the warmth of Boris' arm up his anus Dave started taking pot shots at all and sundry, much to the delight of the Tory boy audience, most of whom had more damp patches than a classroom of schoolgirls during a human biology lesson!

"I hear Ed Miliband might be our next Prime Minister. So with a dick leading the UK and Balls right behind him, it'll be like the whole countries being fucked! And howsabout that little tosser Clegg, How will Nick fare in the upcoming European elections? Next week how to blu-tack a bowling ball to the wall whilst pissing into a tornado! Better still, yesterday in Parliament mass hysteria broke out after a dangerous vegetable was found lurking on the front bench. Nick Clegg was said to be surprised it'd taken so long for anyone to notice him"
By now the audience were in a state of emotional instability with queues at the men's toilets rivalling those of the ladies but Dave was unstoppable-ditto Boris who was now pounding away up Dave's arse like an uncontrollable piston- "…and that fucking moron Vince Cable…" at this point Dave suddenly collapsed across the table as Boris made a vain attempt to mount him.
As he was stretchered out and driven back to Number 10 Dave mumbled something about…."being a wonderful audience"…. then dribbled on about looking forward to his next stand up gig in Parliament before vomiting over George Osborne's leather patented Salvatore Ferragamo's

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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