The newly launched Spoof Express has a scoop for it's first issue.
An opinion poll conducted by the paper has found 98% of readers consider the recent bad weather in Britain is caused by the 'flood of immigrants' into this country.
James Dean, Mayor of Canterbury, maintained that the weather is 'obviously being brought here from Romania' with the aim of claiming benefits for incapacity to work due to flooding.
Michael Gnome, Government Education Minister, told the Spoof Express that it was 'clearly unpatriotic not to blame the deluge of immigrants for the terrible and catastrophic weather'.
Our long term weather forecasters have been hauled back from the Maldives where they were examining the fallacy of climate change to oversee the storms that will be hitting Britain as EU rules allow all foreigners entry into Britain 'when they feel like swindling the country and going to take advantage of Accident & Emergency to have babies on the NHS absolutely free'.
Gnome claims 'anyone who does not support the Government crackdown on immigrants is a traitor' and Spoof Express wants to see all traitors exterminated.
VOTE NOW IN OUR SPECIAL EXTERMINATE TRAITORS BALLOT!!