Christmas must be repeated as it has been marked too leniently, Tory School Oberfuhrer Michael Gove screamed yesterday.
"Christmas will be repeated in the Summer, this time with more maths and science in it. Religion will also play a part in the new re-take which will be re-marked to new standards. Pupils will not be able to progress to Easter and will be stuck in Lent unless they obtain higher marks in June.
"Falling standards have meant that people have been enjoying themselves and this could lead to me not being important again," Gove said at an Eisteddfod yesterday. "Life should be unpleasant like me and I intend to enforce it!"