Written by Matt Brown
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Monday, 30 December 2013

image for Girl carried off into space amid fears for lost balloon
An imagined version of Bluey and Alice's view from space

Worried parents and performing clowns have been seated watching news24 for the last 72 hours, biting eyebrows and clipping unwanted chattering teeth after somegirl, someplace, it was Alice but not their Alcie disspersed into the winds surrounding her.

Albus, almost more effectively known as bluey (as this was her coloured) vanished into thin air at today pm, Friday. Bluey was an old favourite for her short time on this earth and she seemed to breath new life into olivus, the scoutmasters dog, except when he choked and died on her. Mothers were told to suck it up as space was not to be reopened until 2044.

We imagine astronomers years from now will gaze up into the heavens and spy Albus and Alice floating there, in a silent dream. Drifting through eternity.

Children will be told stories by their parents about the little girl and blue ball, that pass over every Christmas and that will become the new Santa. Maybe one day they will finally dish-a-pear into the event horizon of a black hole never to return, but for now their image stands as a testimony to all the people who thought space could never be conquered by a little girl holding a balloon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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