Written by Matt Brown
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 30 December 2013

Following last week's barometer breaking wind speeds, officials from someplace have announced plans to erect new wind breakers at several key locations around the United Kingdoom.

Many unsavouries, previously thought upon as being especially savoury, such as 'warbling' Rudloph Hairy's, 'weathering' Freddie Talon and the disfigured James Savoly who had been corpsing for some time are being used to block oncoming storms emanating from Bechee-hed, Russland and the exhaling mouth of the ever-sighing Bring Cosplay.

To stem the tides 'Ready for tee' Mavis was asked to describe the figure of such one of these unspeakables that are being recruited for wind repellence, and in some cases even to negotiate with them so in order that they can be used as benevolent beings, who will spare us instead of ripping through hospitals and racecources full of fruit hats. After being given little clue as to who (or even why) we were talking about bara fat-man suit and a police car outside a residence, Mavis, strolling around the 18th like nodobby's business (it were her uncles') said 'that's Stuart Hall in one'. Now he'll spend his remaining days sans intime in the showers instead of Jeux sans frontiers with HRH.

Of course there are many potential more usars for these people just such as the time when the Great Volcano of London erupts. No one can say for sure if this will ever happen but cautious and yet ever optimistic we must remain.

Over now to the cooking show 'Hors d'oeuvre de toilette' with Ham Martian.

Make Matt Brown's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 plus 2?

7 20 6 4

Go to top