EU seismoligists have predicted a rather huge volcanic eruption after January 1st in the Balkan area and warn about a huge wave, likeable to a tsunami, that will travel westwards and smother all low-lying countries including the UK.
The tsunami will then hit the Irish Sea and not reach Ireland (the place is not worth smothering) and disappear leaving a trail of devastation and muddy potholes behind it.
Nick Clegg, deputy PM, has warned the social services about the approaching storm and all of their buildings will barricade themselves behind wooden shutters for three months until hopefully the wave recedes and only a few survivors remain.
Bulgaria and Romania are warning the UK and other European states about the explosion about to shake Europe, but are glad it will not destroy anything there because there is nothing to destroy, apart from a few cows, sheep and BMW's, whose owners had managed to surf and survive previous tidal waves.
The Germans are actually contemplating building a protective dyke aided by dyke building specialists, Holland, along their eastern borders. However, plans have been delayed because Chinese wall-building experts are busy building a version of their Great Wall along the Alps to protect their southern borders from a Spartan invasion.
More as we surf it!