The Minister for Defence, Richard Hammond has sent out requests for contract tenders to supply state of the art deadly word processors capable of on the fly rapid deployment of emails. These new machines will take the place of torpedoes, guns and missiles on our Navy warships.
The ships will form a deadly "quick response" task fleet of nasty letter capable Frigates, Carriers and Battleships. Existing weapons will be sold for scrap.
The fleets will be deployed in areas in imminent danger of territorial invasion where David Cameron dare not do anything, for instance Gibraltar, potentially even The Falkland Islands and everywhere else now. Hammond said yesterday "This could save a few quid and we don't really fire those gun things nowadays".