Written by Auntie Jean
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Sunday, 1 December 2013

image for William Hague mistaken for Alien robot and decapitated by Ripley
A robot in the Science Museum

William Hague, often mistaken for Kryten, the bald, strange talking robot from Sci-fi comedy Red Dwarf, has been advised by his boss, Dave (Doolittle) Cameron, to take speech therapy lessons after a near fatal incident in the London Science Museum.

Hague, best known for not doing enough about the current Spanish attempts to annexe Gibraltar, was opening a new space exploration exhibition when he was attacked by the fictional Ellen Ripley (a character from the Alien series of films).

I just acted instinctively said Ripley. "He is so like the evil robot in the Alien Movie!".

Fortunately a visiting Japanese robotics expert was able to screw Hague's head back on with an Allen key.

Hague said after the incident, (which many people thought was a promotional stunt) that his way of moving and speaking like a robot might appear sexy, but it was actually a result of drinking too much lemonade in his Grandad's pop factory when he was a baseball cap wearing nipper.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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