The new map of the UK by the Ordinance Survey Dept. has only England, Ireland, Northern Scotland and Southern Scotland on it. Wales, soon to be completely flooded by Thames Water's new reservoir has ceased to exist on the map.
The new reservoir will be named Loch Alexsalmondness and has become necessary because of the constant loo flushing in London and due to the water companies selling all the rest of the water to France to make posh bottled water.
The new Scottish Independent Government which recently gave ultimatums to both the Isle of Man and Newcastle to surrender or face a Scotchkrieg army of tanks and thousands of bombers full of bagpipe players, has already started taking down all the ludicrously long Welsh village names and breaking them up to make new signs for the shorter Scottish village names.
"All of the important Welsh people such as Richard Burton and Dylan Thomas are now dead, so it's time to obliterate all traces of the country" said the Scottish Services (S.S.)this morning.
"It will be a shame to lose the International Car Twocking Champion Village of Cardiff and all the sexy sheep, but Wales never really worked as a country. No-one else understands Eisteddfods and the food here is the worst in the world apart from Germany's hideous sausage and Sauerkraut.I for one will be having fried Mars Bars and Scotch pies and chips every night from now on." said a former Welshman.
Sardines will be farmed in the salt water lake and it will even have its own monster, Alexsalmondus Obesius".