London's criminal underworld went on an unprecedented crime binge yesterday whilst the entire compliment of the Metropolitan Police Force was guarding President Bush.
Official figures showed that of the 30.000 officers in the ‘Met':
14,000 officers were assigned to protect George W.
The remaining 16,000 officers were not available because they were attending ‘gay and lesbian rights' workshops.
When asked why so many officers were attending courses and not carrying out policing duties, the Chief Commissioner explained that it was normal practice for at least 90% of his police force to be unavailable at any one time.
‘If all the police officers were competent and capable of carrying out basic police work, there wouldn't be any crime,' he added.
‘Sometimes, I think the British public must be stupid not to realise this,' he laughed