Written by Auntie Matter
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Monday, 18 November 2013

image for Schillings in Major Court Case
Legal Madness. Where will it end?

Keith Schilling, major player in the "reputation and secrecy" law firm Schillings of London has taken out an injunction against himself.

At a restaurant in Kensington last night he inadvertently tipped over a glass of Rothchilds' Chateau Lafite Premium Red onto his lap, sprang to his feet and yelled "You stupid bastard!" Many people stopped what they were doing to gaze in amazement as Schilling was calmed down by a waiter.

Once he had gathered his senses, the lawyer decided then and there that this was a bridge too far and has taken out a writ against himself in London's High Court for defamation. He explained:

"I consider the remark against myself to have been unfounded, unsubstantiated and untrue and will contest it with the utmost vigour in London's High Court. I am suing Mr. Schilling for one million pounds in possible lost earnings as a result of this public defamation and hopefully, the judge, who is a good friend of mine, will award me damages and legal costs. Enough is enough! If people can be allowed to get away with this sort of thing it will make a total mockery of our democratic rights especially our precious freedom of speech."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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