Written by Joe Leff
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Friday, 15 November 2013

Doctors are concerned about a 16-year-old girl who has been crying profusely every time she kisses someone.

At first, when Wendy Wetkiss started kissing people properly, only a few small tears would run down her cheeks. But recently her tears have been getting bigger and bigger.

"Last time Wendy snogged me, I was nearly drenched," said Dave Lapitup, her latest boyfriend.

Medical scientists believe it may be an extreme hygiene reaction.

"It seems to be worse when she snogs filthy youths, like Dave," said Wendy's mother. "And kissing her old granny turns the taps on, too," she added, as she was mopping the floor at Wendy's home in Gateshead.

"It might even be hereditary," she reckoned. "Her father has the biggest ears you've ever seen - and he never pronounces his 't's. So there may be some connection."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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