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Friday, 15 November 2013

image for British experts warn of rise in genital cosmetic surgery

British gynaecologists warned today that increasing numbers of men, teenage girls and women are undergoing genital cosmetic surgery, driven in part by unrealistic images of how they should look based on pornography and today's freak artists.

"I get lots of requests for things like, "I want to have both sexes" stated one gynaecologist. "I tell them that would take a good while and might not work anyway because of hormone problems."

News has been leaking out that men want their privates looking cute, not huge.

"Those ads you get in the mail and on the internet are barking up the wrong Pee", stated another specialist. "Get it? I used a pun there. Pee instead of Tree! Ha! I use that a lot with customers to get them to relax. Got a whole book of puns in the office. Actually, the men used to come in here wanting a part of them to resemble a tree."

State-funded National Health Service (NHS) performed more than 2,000 labial reduction procedures -- labiaplasties -- in 2010, a six-fold increase in ten years, according to the Royal College of Obstetricians, Pornographers and Gynaecologists (RCOPG).

"I'm kind of glad about the fact that they aren't after length any longer. Longer! Get it?"

What we got was our hats and left to interview a specialist who didn't have a big book of puns.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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