Written by Rob Barratt
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Topics: Kids

Tuesday, 5 November 2013

image for Panorama special - neglected children in the UK
Children are sent away to private institutions in the countryside where the deprivation continues.

Following Chair of OFSTED, Baroness Sally Morgan's recent announcement that children of a certain class should go to school at the age of two, the Panorama TV programme revealed today that there is a social epidemic involving another class of children who experience neglect.

Apparently there is a sector of society in the UK whose children are given up as babies to low-paid workers called "nannies". The nannies raise the children until they are six or seven when they are sent away to private institutions in the countryside, cut off from civilisation as we know it, which continue the process. When these institutions are closed they are forced to visit distant undesirable locations such as Padstow or Tuscany.

At the end of their "education" they attend further "sink" institutions in Oxford or Cambridge, after which some of these poor individuals marry similarly neglected people and have children, thus continuing this cycle of deprivation (or is it depravity?).

A possible solution is to create temporary placements for these young children in ordinary homes with ordinary people in order for them to experience affection and normality and hopefully end this cycle of neglect.

Michael Gove was not available for comment as he was busy dismantling the state education system as we know it, muttering the words "academy", "excellence" "free schools", "failure" and "enemies of promise" in a random order.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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