I am due to sit in a chamber in the House of Commons listening to the secrets of the State.
Among the groans and whimpers will come sounds that, when they are put through a cypher can reveal the truth.
This particular chamber is renowned for public school antics when chaps get together in what is known as an Eton Mess.
This whole episode is to be on television but a two minute delay will be functioning which should avoid any explosive events.
Those who witness such an event will be brainwashed immediately and hypnotised so they forget anything they should not know.
At the moment it has not been decided what they can know and what they can't know but the secrets of the chamber will be safe, that I do know.