Written by Joe Leff
Print this

Monday, 4 November 2013

An elderly book-lover has complained bitterly that her local library was too quiet.

"There was a deathly silence about the place," moaned 75-year-old Lily Brearian, who has been using the library in Gateshead for over 50 years. "And recently I've not noticed any librarians around, so no-one's even whispering 'Shush!!'"

Last night, Mrs Brearian was observed by passers-by as she shouted loudly through a partly-open window on the top floor of the library.

When police went to investigate, they had to break down the front door of the building. This made a lot of noise and Mrs Brearian soon felt a bit better. The police also said she could use a portable radio which they lent to her.

Social workers are making arrangements for a mobile meals delivery service, as she has already used her annual allowance of inter-library loans. "I'm absolutely skint," she shouted.

Gateshead Council said the library has been closed for five months and is awaiting demolition.

Make Joe Leff's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 1?

8 18 11 3
57 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more