Written by ExiledRoyal
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Topics: Theft, Pig, Farmers, Sheep

Saturday, 2 November 2013

image for Stolen sheep on show for farmers
Pork lovers need not apply

Police are to show several hundred ewes which had previously been stolen from farms around the Tees region.

The level of excitement in an otherwise pedestrian county is reaching fever pitch, as farmers across the area are gathering to identify their mutton.

However, not all the sheep have been stolen. One ewe was caught having broken into a local strip club and had done several thousand pounds worth of damage. It then recouped most of the money by getting up on-stage and performing for the locals.

Our reporter then caught up with farmer Mike Mintsauce, who sobbed, "I'm so glad. I miss my sheep so badly. The only reason I got married was that Missy, my ewe, can't fetch beer from the fridge as she doesn't have opposable thumbs ... Otherwise she's all I've ever dreamed of."

Another local farmer arrived at M&M Auction Mart in Kirkby Simon with a pig under one arm. However, he was disqualified from the show for being bisexual.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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