Written by CaptainSausage

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Topics: Poo, Zoo, Gardening, lion

Monday, 14 October 2013

image for Lion poo business booming

Sales of lion dung have rocketed in recent months, as has the price. The waste product has become very popular with gardeners as it repels almost all known pests.

Britain's leading supplier Lionel Plopp has been doing a roaring trade. "I'd be 'lion' if I said times weren't good," he says. "As Napoleon once said, we're a nation of zookeepers, we've got lion poo in our blood."

Plopp is so successful that he calls himself "The Lion Poo King". He has three zoos supplying his shit and he delivers it all over the country.

Plopp confirmed that the feline excrement is very successful. He says that it scares away foxes, cats, badgers and other pests. The only downside is that it can attract lions.

His business has tripled in size in the last six months. "It's like the goose that laid the golden egg. Except that the goose is a lion and the eggs are brown not gold."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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