London - A leading pillock - er...pillar! - of the British Establishment faces criminal bankruptcy charges following a £100m 10-year fraud that bankrolled his gargantuan celeb A-Lister pretensions. Yeah.
Protected by a powerful smoke 'n' mirrors firewall of official PR bollocks the rogue 'nobleman' has somehow managed to keep the sordid shenanigans largely off-piste.
Recent liquidation of News Corpse tabloids may have helped in imposing a proceedings gag about the decade-long embezzlement and self-promotion rampage.
Tonight the full extent of a No 10 cover-up has emerged from the stinking Whitehall storm drains as creditors line up to go public on M'Knobble Lord and his gargoyle wife.
"He's a real butter-wouldn't-melt-in-yer-arse kinda bastard," leading criminologist Bunty Worples tweeted as news of the impending disaster broke.
As for the wife, she's an Opus Dei ho with a handful of children all fathered by disgraced politician Tony B Liar.
Expect the fur to fly tomorrow morning as cops lift the last obstacles to public disclosure.
Tonight the Earl of Upper Slaughter is feeling pickled in shit.