Written by Joe Leff
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Friday, 27 September 2013

Hungry thieves broke the window of a baker's shop in Gateshead yesterday and stole the day's bakings.

Dozens of bread loaves and scores of cream buns were taken along with apple pies and big scones.

As soon as George Cook, the baker, arrived, the robbers fled - without taking any cash.
"When I saw the floor all covered in crumbs I thought 'Crumbs - someone's been eating all our stuff'. But they can't have got very far after eating all that baking."

His wife Patsy was really upset. "We work all day to earn a living - and all we're left with are a few crusts."

Police are looking for two fat, greedy bastards who thought they could have their cakes and eat them before robbing the till.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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