In a rousing, rapturous Labour Party conference where only three elderly members died, the shadow chancellor appeared a shadow of his current shadow self, until his startling observations brought the house down and lit up his rotund face.
Ed Balls, or in formal terms - Edward Testicles - made a jibe at the Prime Minister about photographs taken of him while at the beach in the summer. Recalling his own slightly embarrassing episode where images surfaced of him in trunks at the beach Mr Balls had the Labour faithful rolling around in the aisles with a remark about the Prime Minister's trunks and in particularly his towel. The said towel which was covering Cameron's general midriff area, was "very small for a Prime Minister" according to Balls, appearing to suggest that Cameron had a tiny penis.
That he then urged Cameron, less than five words later, to "throw in the towel" however left many observers scratching their heads, and in some ironic cases, their balls.
This appears to either suggest a homoerotic desire on Ed Balls' part to see the Prime Minister with his shlong out or that he is challenging Cameron to a size of penis-off to decide who is in charge of the nation.
Balls is said to be very confident that the country would force an incumbent of number ten out on the basis of their size of penis. He is said to be even more confident that Ed Miliband could out penis-size Cameron and ascend to Political premiership.
While regarding his own competition that would ensue with himself and Chancellor George Osbourne, Balls is itching for it to happen as he is pretty certain that Osbourne has no genitalia at all.