In a sensational move media mogul Rupert Murdoch has bought Britain's Royal Mail.
In addition astonishing genealogical research by the world renowned genealogist Ned Kelly has established 'beyond doubt' that Murdoch is descended from William the Conqueror.
'He is the rightful King of England' said Ned - known as a hard headed no nonsense researcher.
Any doubts about Murdoch's suitability for the ownership of the newly to be described Murdoch's Royal Mail were eliminated on the news that famous artist, Rolf Harris, is painting a portrait of King Murdoch.
Jim Stamp from the Post Office Workers Union has described the Murdoch move as a 'whopping victory for good sense'. He went on to express his confidence in the future of the Post Office under King Murdoch.
The Queen is said to be 'delighted' at the news and is arranging for King Murdoch to take over at Buckingham Palace as son as possible.