London - Pics of Big Dave out for the count on some ho's double bed have reassured pubic opinion a Party spokesperson said tonight.
The PM and his red Official Dispatch Box were snapped in flagrente after shagging Kate Middleton at a Master Bates Motel.
Fortunately only CIA turncoat Edward Snowden ever got to see the snaps and now he's a Ruskie citizen the nudie pics pose no security threat whatsoever.
Commenting on the media stink Syrian President Bash-Ear Al Ass-Sad said, "It's going to take at least one year and a billion dollars to completely destroy the offending stockpile."
Meanwhile Canadian lawyers who arranged the adoption of Kate and Dave's secret brat 19-odd years ago have posted yet another massive annual profit as 'keep-yer-gobs-shut' retainers keep the Justin Bieber scam rolling.
Newly appointed Bank of England governor Mark Carney's Gamblers Anonymous electronic ankle tag needs a new GPS chip.