Written by Jimbo Gunn
Print this

Friday, 20 September 2013

image for Scotland to be as crap at athletics as it is at football by 2016 Olympics, say Yes campaign

An independent Scotland must be given the chance to fly away from Brazil in 2016 with their heads held high, which is easy to do if your head is not weighed down with a heavy gold medal round your neck, said a man on Twitter yesterday.

"Scotland must be free to show the world how crap we really are at all sports, not just football," he continued during a live interview on Sky News.

Scotland has been artificially buoyed by England's success in athletics ever since towns like Mogadishu and Ghent produced some marvellous track runners and sideburns respectively. An independent Scotland will be free to sink as low as Armenia or even Australia.

Meanwhile the Yorkshire Yes campaign gained ground after it promised to strike a bilateral agreement with Scotland to end trade tariffs on the supply of Yorkshire Puddings and deep fried Mars Bars. They also pledged to end the M62 and eject Bradford.

"It really doesn't make sense," said a Yorkshire woman.

"I know love," said a Yorkshire man, "I think I'll have me tea now..."

Make Jimbo Gunn's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 1?

5 1 24 7
39 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more