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Thursday, 19 September 2013

image for Cameltoe water poisoning scandal: government fesses up
Camilla F+++er-Proles is 69

Cameltoe, Pornwall - The government is very sorry about stuff that happened back in 1988.

A statement issued on the No 10 website says 'Sorry, guys - we f++ked up' and blames Arfer Skagill for the mess.

More than 20 tonnes of amphetamine sulphate somehow got dumped in a pubic water tank at the Lowermoor Treatment Works.

It made local drinking water so toxic that thousands of otherwise law abiding citizens suddenly went apeshit, starting a three week orgy on municipally owned land.

25 years later the druggy scars remain, never mind the lack of compo for what's been described as Cornwall's worst ever 120-Daze-Of-Sodom moment.

"We blame Prince Charles," local taxidermist Bunny Tartar told QM-NewsCorpse reporters today.

As official despot of the Duchy of Pornwall he's made squillions from the toxic estate.

Now locals say it's payback time and demand Charles' extradition to Bodmin Assizes to face charges of willful misconduct of a narcotic nature.

The offence carries a maximum penalty of hanging, drawing and quartering at dusk on a Bodmin gibbet, as laid down in the Magna Carta of 1215.

Camilla F++ker-Proles is 69.

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