Written by queen mudder
Print this

Tuesday, 24 September 2013

image for 'Better Dead Than Red Ed' butler tells the Queen
Another drop of hemlock, Ma'am?

Balmoral - "Where's Mrs Thatcher when one needs her?" Queen Elizabeth moaned today as she watched old 'The Enemy Is Socialism And The Labour Party' vids of the old bird's signature rap.

A return to old-style Labour stalinism after the next election would mean the end of snouts-in-the-royal-trough that each year bankrolls the wastrel Windsors to the tune of thirty five million squid.

"Of course we could just chuck that Milliband in the Tower," the Duke of Edinburgh suggested blithely, "along with all those other socialist trolls."

The last loonie leftie incarcerated for a while in the Tower of London was sometime Labour Foreign Secretary Robin Cook - whose eventual sudden, unexplained death on a craggy Scottish mountainside was put down to a dizzy spell after a boozy lunch.

"Hmm," HM retorted looking horrified, "it would be a whole lot more sensible, Philip, if Mr Miliband went for an afternoon's stroll in some charming country park, just like that WMD chap Dr David Kelly...

"Or turned up somewhere in a North Face hold-all like that MI6 spook."

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 plus 1?

2 21 3 6
54 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more