Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 15 September 2013

image for Vid posted of wedding guests dancing 'Blair Necessities' conga
The Blair Necessities Of Life Will Come To You

Wooton-under-the-Bushes, Bucks - Someone posted a vid of Euan Blair's lavish, multi-million pound nuptials on the You Boob! Channel this morning.

It features Tony and Cherie leading a 200-strong wedding conga while knocking back five-hundred-squid-a-pop champers.

Suddenly Tony Blair breaks out into the theme song from the Jungle Book but with a slight new twist.

'Blair necessities, the simple Blair necessities, forget about yer worries and the wife's; I mean the Blair necessities, Old Mother Nature's precipice, that bring the Blair necessities of life.'

Blushing bride Bride Suzanne Ashman in her 30-grand dress and blingy tiara dazzles under the disco lights as she joins in the chorus with new hubby Euan:

'Blair necessities...'

Soon the entire sozzled wedding party is at it in Tony and Cherie's six million pound country pad as the conga snakes its way round the maroon draylon carpets and chintzy orange drapes:

'Wherever I wander, wherever I roam; I couldn't be fonder of my big home...'

Click HERE for pics of the Blairs singing 'Money Makes The World Go Round' while taking a dip in an oligarch's hot tub.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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