London - (Associated Mess): Next year's proposed Vatican state visit by Pope Joseph Ratzinger has been cancelled following advice from the Metropolitan Police's Serious and Organised Crime Agency (SOCA) that it would provoke an unwarranted fascist pandemic.
And despite the government's promise of an NHS mass-vaccination campaign against the contra-indications that such a Papal visit would provoke, the visit has been scuppered largely on public mental health grounds:
"Too many Brits remember his predecessor Pius XII and his cosy relationship with the Third Reich", said a spokseperson.
"People would just go nuts if this guy came over in a full-state-bling number".
Thus the intensive lobbying by both UK Prime Monster Tony Blair, his wife Cherry Bush QC and other members of Oswald Moseley's family has come to nought .
And as their ultimate Good Friday Agreement grand finale is now bound to be cancelled, details of the government's cosy-ing up to the man dubbed as 'God's Rottweiler' have emerged from the obfuscation of official sweetener spin campaigns to woo British voters into oblivious acceptance.
Last weekend's TV documentary on Vatican child sex crime cover-ups may have been pivotal in pulling the final plug on Blair's ambitious plan for a 'cute and cuddly' image of Ratzinger to be promoted into the collective hearts 'n' minds of the British public.
And a promise by retired spooks, cops and law enforcement officials who have quietly squirrelled away volumes of evidence against the Ratzinger cabal's meddling in the British royal succession has sent a chill down the collective spineless spines of the Tory grandees who recruited the Blair regime to do its mercenary disrty work in the first place.
The news of the cancellation has been met with bland incomprehension in the Vatican where the Pontifical Office for Insults, Smears, Innuendos and Slanders (ISIS) remains tight-lipped despite the many questions being asked about the fiasco of the cancellation.
Meanwhile in Washington DC, the CIA is said to be probing reports that disgraced Republican House of Representatives member Mark Folie-a-Deux was paid a substantial six figure sum to testify in his youth against allegations of gross misconduct against a minor by Ratzinger himself during a seminary visit to Colorado in the 1970s.
Expect further details in the next few days.