Written by CaptainSausage

Print this
Topics: War, UK, Syria

Friday, 30 August 2013

image for Britain chooses indecisive pacifism
Assad Day for the Syrian people

In a vote that will have little consequence for the rest of the world, the British parliament have agreed by a narrow margin that they will stand idly by while President Assad of Syria gases his own people.

"I'm very proud of this moment," said Prime Minister David Cameron. "It was always going to be a tough decision on whether we should go to war or not, so I decided to let my colleagues decide. And since 51% of them said no, that's what we'll do."

The decision means that Britain will not take any part in any military action against Syria. It is thought that some MPs were worried that they might have to put up with the same sort of criticism that Tony Blair often has to put up with due to his decision to attack Iraq 10 years ago.

MP for Upper Dorking, Reginald Funt, said, "I don't want to receive a letter, say 5 years in the future, by somebody angry at a decision that I took part in. For an MP that would be unbearable."

This is despite the fact that any military action would likely have been a series of strikes targeting Syria's chemical weapons facilities and not a full-scale invasion. It is now thought that if the US needs backup for their operation they will have to rely on the French or Germans.

Pacifist commentator Walter St Goodfer said Britain had done the right thing. "When Assad slaughters his own people, Britain turns the other cheek."

Make CaptainSausage's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 4?

1 6 10 4

Go to top