Written by Herr Riballs
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Topics: Syria

Thursday, 29 August 2013

US President, Barrack Obama, and UK Premier, David Cameron, have decided to temporarily postpone an attack on Syria until at least 5.30pm on Saturday.

City

Allied armed forces WERE on red alert to bomb Assad forces and civilians at 12pm Saturday; however, in a dramatic U-turn, the timing of the assault has been changed so that both men can WATCH the 12.45pm match between Hull and Manchester City.

Mr Obama, explained "I've been a Tigers fan all my adult life so I don't want to miss this one, especially after going up. It won't be easy at the Etihad but I feel an upset on the cards."

Manc

Man City fan Cameron agreed "Regime change takes time so a delay of 2 hours won't make much dent in the 25 years we intend to be there; As for the footy, it could be another banana skin, like the Cardiff match, where we didn't turn up. I just hope we get Vinny fit and go back to zonal marking with a flat back four. It worked under Bobby Manc last season" he added.

Brew

Mr Obama was asked why the decision was made to delay the Syria attack until 5pm. He said "The match will finish at say half two, quarter to three so why not attack Syria at 3 ? Makes sense right ? Wrong - I want to see how the other matches get on and catch Final Score at 4.30. All the results should be in by 4.50 so the plan is shit, shower, shave, quick brew and attack at 5.30."

Assad aides have also welcomed the news of a later "kick off" as it is believed many want to catch the end of TV Burp.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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