Cash strapped NHS trusts have announced plans to outsource patient care to the Indian city of Mumbai
Supporters of the plans argue that the level of care afforded to patients will be significantly superior to the UK. Chief Medical Officer, Anna Stettick, said "It's all about customer experience. Who wants rainy Salford when you can have sunny Delhi? And fags and gin is only about 50 pence."
Colleague, Annie Steezier, agreed. She said "As well as the sun, cheap booze and fags, critically ill patients can enjoy a good biryani for about 2 quid. It's like a death row meal but at a fraction of the cost."
Terminally ill patient, Steffi Scope, also welcomed the news. She said "You certainly get more bang for your rupee. Now I won't have to wait ages to see my doctor. No more postcode lottery. Plus I can get my morning paper as his surgery in Mumbai doubles up as a corner shop."