Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 18 August 2013

image for New probe asks if Diana knew 'Jimmy Savile stuff'
She loathed Charles because of his birth Pa Jim

London - 'Just like Jill Dando?' - A new nail in Princess Di's coffin has appeared with reports that she and Dodi might have been topped after all as many Brits still believe because she knew lots of Jimmy Savile stuff.

The carefully choreographed royal inquest several years ago examined a massive forensic trawl of every scrap of evidence, except, of course, DNA samples from each member of the House of Windsor.

"Someone wanted to make damn sure Charles' DNA never entered the investigation loop," a QM-NewsCorpse stringer tweeted today amid reports that Pervy Jim was the Prince's birth father.

"And that Wills' and Harry's own genomes are shielded by the Government's Diving Fright of Kings gobbledygook, just like Jim Will Fix It's own DNA.

Announcing the new Diana RIP investigation this weekend UK police said they'd never heard of something called Savile's Rogues Register'- a dossier naming virtually all the pervert's Establishment descendants and the public handouts they've accumulated.

The list was started soon after the death of the late Queen Mother whose bastard son by Archbishop Cosmo Lang was given away at birth and became the Jim Will Fit it monster that's merging from the woodwork this year.

Top of the list are his half-sister Mrs Thatcher RIP as well as Brit politicians Peter Mandelson and Theresa May - Jim's little secrets from the UK Cold War - then niece Cherie and grand-daughter Sam Cameron, with Nigella Lawson possibly bringing up the rear.

Lots of other fruits of Savile's loins are reportedly also out there somewhere, mostly nut houses and places of ill repute if UK tabloids are to be believed.

A new Princess Di inquest will now take place some time in the New year.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 3?

7 20 15 9
71 readers are online right now!

Go to top