Written by Eurocleese De Zouch
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Topics: Theft, The Stig

Tuesday, 13 August 2013

Shock descended on Middle Thrash on Monday afternoon, after drunken locals believed to have seen The Stig holding up the hamlet's post office.

Terrence O'Dyer saw a "man in a strange white suit" jump out of a 1975 Vauxhall Viva with a shooter, and enter the said post office.

"Ooo, I could tell he was a wrongun, just from the way he touched the knob on the door handle" Mr O'Dyer added.

"You just knew that had already done, probably around 12-14 for cheese bothering and aggressive pointing (amongst other spurious charges)"...

"He looked like a right toe rag..." Mr O'Dyer then spent another half an hour going on about some cockney cliches or other...The interviewer soon got as bored as a rubber man, and legged it quick smart.

It was only after investigation, it was realised that it was actually a man in a bee keeping outfit who had been naughty, but has since done a runner with all the loot.

Early on Tuesday morning, following a tip off by 3 million viewers, Officers were seen outside The Stig's house in Swan Thessop, where he was rectally probed on his driveway. It was only thanks to a passer by, who put up a towel shield to prevent further ritual humiliation..

The Stig was later released on a leash after the slip up by the Wombles was discovered.

The Bee Keeper man was actually a woman, Kerry Mishape, a 25 year old Badger Stimulator from Ethel Coughing. She is due in Small Cupping magistrates court on friday. Tickets to the show can be bought from the town's Brothelcreepers pub.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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