Written by Joe Leff
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Sunday, 11 August 2013

An unemployed rat has again caused damage in BBC Radio Gateshead's studio.

DJ Ike Anspinnem was getting ready to play an old record by the BoomTown Rats when the jobless rat leapt on to the turn-table and hit the record with its front paws and head.

"That's the second time this week he's done that," said Ike. "He's been sniffing around looking for work in the Director's Office. But I told him he's got to start at the bottom and work his way up. Next thing I knew he'd bitten my arse. He's a bloody nuisance."

The number of jobless rats has hit an all-time record in Gateshead. The council plans to herd them all up and lock them in a big cupboard with some old 78's and LPs that they can knock about.

In other parts of the country jobless rats are coming down after spending weeks in people's lofts and attics looking for old records.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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