Tensions between London and Madrid over Gibraltar are escalating after Spain introduced compulsory checks on the clothing of all residents in Gibraltar.
Some Spanish border control officers reckoned that "Gibraltarians will be easier to recognize and hurl insults at."
Although most residents are not happy with border checks, some of the more dapper Gibraltarians reckon they look better than spot checks. So this has started yet another internal dispute.
London's Lord Mayor Boris Johnson has pledged to bring the Rock back home to England for a bit of peace and quiet. But most Gibraltarians want to stay put. "Gibraltar was here first," they said. "It's up to Spain to back off."
The United Nations are monitoring the dispute closely from their summer headquarters in Gateshead. "We are urging the two sides to de-escalate this escalation," said a U.N. diplomat forthrightly, from a safe distance, and with a slight whistle on the 's's as if to lighten the tone.