London - The dirty old Scouser's gargantuan social climbing ambitions are orgasming deliriously at her Italian mobster daughter Kate Middleton's latest scam.
Asked to describe her occupation on Baby Prince George Bush's birth certificate the daft royalty hoaxer simply wrote 'Princess of the United Kingdom' - as opposed to 'bigamist wife and mother' [or KGB whore', depending on your slant].
Commenting on the faux pas a constitutional expert explained today that 'occupation' means 'day job' and that 'Princess' is a title, something that even the most brain-dead can distinguish at a glance.
"Little Miss Gold Digger's a right rotten chip off the old block," Dame Romola Ragwort told Spoof news reporters, "considering the blatant bigamy, the decades-long affair with David Cameron and that dreadful business of their son Justin Bieber.
"Still, it means Cherie's now virtually legit...Wanna see pics of Young Georgie's horns?"