A disturbing picture is emerging of a deranged population from the latest episodes of the famous soap: The Royle Family.
For those who missed the latest episodes, through being in a dungeon far under the earth, we can reveal that Kate - the wife of Footballing hopeful William Brackenberg- had a big baby boy.
He has been named George Alexander Louis - to remember the famous jazz clarinettist George Lewis, the author of 'The Joy of Sex' Alex Comfort and to celebrate the greatest American since time began: Louis Armstrong!
Will & Kate explained their choices to a crowd of media hacks outside the hospital where George had been born. 'George is to remember a master of New Orleans style jazz' Will told everyone 'Alex is for the anarchist and sexpert Alex Comfort who has brought more joy to the world than all the Bishops and Politicians in the world' giggled Kate 'and Louis Armstrong is the vocalist of the beautiful 'What A Wonderful World' and a trumpeter who rose from a Waif's home to become a King.'
The BBC abandoned all programmes to bring the Royle news to the people. 'I missed my programme about Dogs' screamed housewife and owner of five dogs Penny Pound. 'My newspaper had 25 pages about this baby' complained former Royle fan Bert Underground.
Crowds appeared shouting cries of jubilation to the Royle Family.
It appears many people actually believe the Royle Family exists!