London, England. In disturbing news just emerging (ney, even breaking), Somali pirates have broken into St Mary's Hospital in Paddington and have kidnapped the newly born Prince of Cambridge after a short joust with hospital staff.
It is believed that the pirates want to smuggle the Royal baby out of the country and return him to Somalia where they will declare him to be Emperor Haile Selassie II, successor to the famous ruler of Ethopia.
It is understood that the Prince was left alone in a cot while the Duke and Duchess were watching QI on BBC2. Many people will question why there wasn't more security however a few individuals (Trevor Bertinshaw of Ramsgate included) will ask why QI was on in the first place.
Inspector Neville Wanking of Metropolitan Police has advised that the full force of the law will hunt down these miscreants and "spank their behinds". When asked if the Royal Prince will be located he replied "Um, oh, yeah that too".