Written by Herr Riballs
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Sunday, 21 July 2013

Prime Minister David Cameron is set to go head to head with Internet Service Providers (or ISP's) over the display of porn and other graphic images.

It is understood he is to tell Google and Bing to make sleaze more accessible as it is in Holland. And Thailand. Even some parts of Bolton and Wigan. And Mr Cameron stated firmly "I might Ask Jeeves as well. No, I'll flipping well tell him."

Filth

Speaking at the first of his Filth Forums on his Porn Roadshow Mr Cameron said "ISP's have a moral duty to make access to porn easier. No more credit card demands, no more 'Whoa! Are you sure you wanna go there' and no more having to click to confirm you're over eighteen". Mr Cameron continued "I accept we've come a long way since grainy Betamax videos in the 80's but there is still much work to be done."

Pasty

Shop owner Mohammed Farouk from Cornwall agrees. He said "I set up The Pornish Pasty and Pie Shop (*) two years ago. Customer's love watching porn whilst waiting for their pasties to be microwaved. I expect business will boom thanks to Mr Cameron raising awareness."

Ben Down, 32, of Cock Rings R Us also thinks the measures will be a boon. He enthused "We expect our cock rings to fly off the shelves now. And it won't do any harm to the dildo sales either" he beamed.

Lukewarm

Not everybody is happy with the PM's proposals however. Eva Orneiva, a 22 porn actress from Lithuania slammed the move. She fumed "All this free porn will ruin me. I have two mouths to feed. Three if you count my own. And what about the money I send back home ? Does Mr Cameron want that on his conscience ?"

Apple bosses are said to be delighted and plan to launch their new gadget the iPorn(**) within a matter of days.


(*) A clever play on words where the word 'Cornish' has been replaced with 'Pornish

(**) Another clever play on words where the word 'Phone' has been replaced with 'porn.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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