TITCHFIELD - UK - Local man Martin Shuttlecock today revealed that he's really got the hump. According to sources he's apparently got the hump so badly that at one point he was considering the random use of exclamation marks.
Apparently it all started when he saw a crop circle of a dalek on an online news site.
"I saw that, and I knew it was real," Shuttlecock told reporters. "But somebody at some time will obviously argue the point.
"And that, quite frankly gives me the hump. There's just no logic to it. It's just daft. If aliens in flying saucers didn't do it, who did? It wasn't me, that's for sure."
Shuttlecock, who has a reputation for being slightly eccentric attempted to explain his statement by saying that basically everything he ever sees on television or reads online just gives him the hump.
"Basically, it's all bollocks," he said. "And it really gives me the hump. I seem to get the hump about everything these days. Maybe I'm just getting grumpy in my old age. Anyway, quite frankly I don't give a bugger."
Long suffering wife, Anne Shuttlecock remarked:
"He'll get over it. Either that or I'll kill him."
More as we get it.