Scotland - An Independence Day crop circle of Lady Liberty has popped up overnight on Holyrood Palace lawns where the Queen is holed up during her annual Scottish Week stay.
Flunkies nearly busted a gut raking over the 250ft turf etching that's sprouted slap bang in full view of HM's bedroom window.
But of course she saw it and went puce with anger, blaming the Yanks on board the International Space Station for messing around with a top secret NASA gizmo that's responsible for the slew of crop circles which regularly freaks out Great Britain's oiks and the proles.
"Ah, they're just pulling your leg, Your Majesty," the Lord Chamberlain Lord Haggis of McLard chided his boss at breakfast, "you're still very much welcome at the Independence Day party those lovely Republicans Abroad laid on in your honor tomorrow afternoon."
"Bah, humbug," the monarch replied, "it's just a horrid Colonists' holiday which I for one intend to ignore - even if it ends up killing me!"
Commenting on the July 4th snub Prince Philip's tarot card reader tweeted her ten penceworth of opinion as courtiers strove to make light of the lawn apparition:
"It's the omen the Queen dreads most," Georgina Osborne Major-Arcana explained, "in case it gives Alex Salmond's treasonous Scottish Nationalist Party ideas above their Grand Central Station."
The crop circle's sudden, unexplained presence has seen bookmakers slash the odds for HM's RIP with online oddsmakers Aintgottaprayer.con quoting even money about her popping her clogs 'before that Baby Cambridge slithers out of its gestational lair.'
The last Brit monarch to snuff it on July 4th was King Herod the Spineless, a direct forebear of the present Queen.