"George Osborne Makes Cuts". Is a headline that would make every voter jump for joy and scream "deeper"! The image it conjures up is one of unbridled happiness as we watch a YouTube special of Mr Osborne sat at his desk his blue blood dripping slowly from the tips of his fingers pouring from deep lacerations all over his body.
Unfortunately like a stripper who doesn't do "extra", no matter how much you tip her, the headline took us to a height of excitement before leaving us bitterly disappointed. And nursing a semi hard fury erection.
Mr Osborne was of course talking about cuts to services, our services to be exact, because to think that he actually uses any of the services he is destroying is just the work of an overactive imagination.
The £11billion worth of cuts has outstanded most Brits as they thought the only "services" the Government spent that sort of cash on was for specialised ones from highly skilled professionals from Amsterdam.
Although the brutal cuts have been made to our essential services, the British public will be expected to take it on the chin and shut the fuck up about it. We will be expected to bare our bulldog sprit and fight on through to the other side because that's how we won the war! (well that and the Lancaster bomber)
After all when the last pensioner dies in front of their failing fire the rest of us will be able to suckle off the "moral warmth" our Government is accruing for us. In the form of £11billion in foreign aid that has been protected. Because as we all know African dictators can't be seen driving to a lunch at number 10 in anything but the latest Ferrari.